I’ve been eligible to work for almost two months now, and I still haven’t been able to get a job. I’m working on it, though.
I think I’ve applied to like, thirteen places. No matter how hard I try or how many references I list, I can’t persuade anyone to hire me. And I know exactly why. It’s my schedule. When January comes, I’m going to be taking five ballet classes a week, which leaves me maybe three days open for work, depending on where the place is (no license yet). Apparently that’s not very appealing to many places of business?? Go figure.
All that aside, it’s Nutcracker season in the ballet world, and my studio is two weeks away from the production. That being said, my repertoire class is nowhere near being ready, but I’m crossing my fingers that it’ll be one of those times where things sort of fall together at the last minute like my life. Dance has been my outlet to take my mind off of my current unemployment… being in my pointe shoes running “Waltz of the Snowflakes” makes me feel amazing, even if there are people who still don’t know what they’re doing. We’re helping each other. Dance is helping me. Next session I’ll be making my debut in the Lakewood Ballet Company, after four long months of apprenticeship. Life is good.
Over the past few weeks, Fate has often been reminding me about the amount of sacrifice involved in the life of a dancer. Not that I’d had any doubts before; sometimes I just like to think of myself as being exempt from the rules. Regardless, I’ve had to make some decisions lately that were less than enjoyable.
A lot of people say that children who want to make careers out of ballet don’t have enough “fun” or they simply don’t have childhoods at all. I’ve had my fair share of sleepovers and trips to the movies (see this post and this one) not at the expense of my dance training, maybe even more than most. But as I grow closer and closer to my nearest goal, I’ve had to say goodbye to some things I would have been doing otherwise.
I had to give up modeling. For the entire season, maybe forever. It was causing schedule conflict with ballet and, much to my close friend and fellow model Jasmine’s disappointment, I had to resign. I was also unable to make it to two recent sixteenth birthday parties because of dance. Which I felt bad about.
But you know what? I wouldn’t have it any other way.
My friends understand that for me going to dance class is just as important as going to school. Ballet is what I love, and I don’t believe it’s compromising my childhood; just the opposite, really. I can’t imagine a life without dance. I wish everyone had something so pure and steadfast to be a part of… I feel very lucky. Dance is my bridge to take me places, and eventually, London. I’m getting closer every day. The time and the effort and the sacrifice just continue to validate me.
Mom and I have been refurnishing the sun room. We’ve taken out the ceiling and are currently putting up a new one. We plan on also taking up the carpet.
When we took out the ceiling we found black mold and sunlight… So that had to be taken care of. There is nothing quite like taking down a piece of dry wall and being rained on by black mold and dead bugs.
The night before I took the SAT I watched Batman and went to the hospital. I was having heart problems. I just so happen to take after the two people with the worst heart problems. Dad gave me his eyes, his freckles, and his irregular heartbeat; My Great Grandmother gave me her body type, jewelry, and heart thingy I can’t spell.
The SATs went well… it was pretty easy, I only had to skip five questions.
I’m studying CLEPs now.
I’m thinking about getting a new job. I think that I may end up working at Cracker Barrel. The place itself isn’t very cool but the job is; they treat their employees really well.
Oh! And I was Santa for Halloween. I made a lot of two-year-olds very confused.
~Madelaine (Maddie, Liabearry, Mac, The Honorary Black Girl)